New Revelations

Boy, have I been lost in my head. I've been doing a lot of thinking, planning, and thinking some more. There has been a lot going on upstairs to say the least. I'm not sure what turns my life will be taking right now, but I'm sure it will be much improved from where I have been.

One thing I've figured out is my life purpose. Well, I should state rediscover, as I knew it before, although not in so many words. When I was a teenager, I lived my life based upon my purpose, although I didn't quite know it at the time. Then over the years I lost it. I wasn't quite out of my teen years when I experienced my first (and worst) life shattering experience. I got married. Shouldn't be such a big deal, people do it every day, whether they should or shouldn't. But the night I bound myself to my ex, I cried uncontrollably for hours. I literally felt like I had split in two. One of those moments where you realize that listening to your intuition was non negotiable. I wasn't quite sure what to do, and its carried over the past five years...it just left me lost.

But now I'm getting back to being who I am, and who I was meant to be. My life purpose is much bigger then I am, but I'm willing to tackle it. I think part of the problem is being unable to fully put into words the entire thing. The basic is to heal, but what that actually means is huge...it doesn't mean go to med school and be happy. Its more of a holistic approach, the mind/body/spirit thing...but even that limits it. So I've basically said screw defining it, and just roll with it. Why limit what you can do?

So things might get a bit strange here and there, but that's okay...no one has ever accused me of being normal. Although I will admit, for the longest time that was my greatest wish...recently though, I think I must have been hit on the head too hard at some point. Normal sucks.